This and That

Saturday I met the gentlest woman I have encountered in some time. She is an artist working out of the Placer Arts Center where the Gold Country Writers were holding their Spring Book Affair. I met her during the course of the afternoon and noticed she made a point of stopping by every table and meeting most, if not all, the authors at the event. Later I asked her if she would show me what she did, to which she agreed. We spent more than an hour discussing her paintings, as well as her life. Her vulnerability and courage allowing a stranger such an intimate glimpse into her private life was stunning.

When we parted she wanted me to have something of hers. She gave me a postcard that had been made from one of her original paintings. It was entitled "Listen." If you've been following this blog, you know that on April 12th I posted "Listen..." The serendipitous aspects of the exchange weren't lost on me. Imagine then, this morning, when I stumbled upon some word play I haven't seen before (though you might have). The letters that make up listen, are also the letters that make up silent. To see that they each contain the other amazed me. That the context of the April 12th post and the intricacy between the two words, along with Saturdays implications (of which I've mentioned only one) seemed to beg disclosure.

So the dilemma was, do I share my experience? After much internal debate I decided I would be the "silent, singing silhouette" referenced April 8th in "Sacred Feminine." That the paradox of the April 12th post being highlighted by Life, and the words actual definitions, could exist independently. That it was another example of what I constantly allude to at this web-site; God's subtle and nuanced way of interacting with us. I found it was something I just couldn't remain silent about.

Let 'Er Rip

I grew up in Orange County, an area of Southern California. (Specifically Fullerton, just north of Anaheim, site of the original Disneyland) It was only 20-25 miles to Huntington or Newport Beach and I spent a lot of time at both beaches as a child and teenager. I became quite familiar with the phenomenon known then as a "riptide." (today "rip current" is more precise)

This happens when two sand bars (piers and jetties can also be locations) are located off-shore and the receding seawater is funneled between them. Speed can range anywhere between 0.5 to 2.5 meters per second (1 to 8 feet). Getting caught in a riptide can be the cause of absolute panic. Once the mind realizes it is being taken where it does not want to go, the "flight or fight" response kicks in. A lack of understanding (ignorance) about riptides can be fatal. A swimmer can exhaust himself trying to swim against the rip and drown. As most of you probably know, the technique to be employed is non-resistance. You allow the current to take you out to sea where it eventually dissipates (beyond the sandbars). You then swim sideways (out of the rip) and head to shore.

I shared all that with you to illustrate an analogy. Some of the problems Life brings you are going to feel like emotional or mental riptides. They are going to cause you to panic. At some level, they can even make you feel as though you are in a fight for your very life. If you "freak out" and exhaust yourself battling what Life has brought you, you can metaphorically drown. Better if you relax into the situation, allow it to take you where it will, then swim parallel or diagonally out of the danger.

There's just one problem though; it is completely counter-intuitive to surrender to a situation where it feels as though your life is on the line. And the ego is more than capable of manipulating events where it seems as though your life IS at stake. You must resist! You must lash out! You must strain against the injustice of it all! And I say, okay!! Just as soon as you are safely back on shore. Once your heartbeat has returned to normal. And after you've had a chance to process, calmly, what has taken place. Then, by all means, do what you think is best.

Realize I am not suggesting there is a "one size fits all" spiritual answer. However, there are tools in our "spiritual toolbox" more adaptable than others. This technique can be viewed as a Swiss Army knife, versatile in the extreme. It's employment might just be the answer next time your emotional or mental currents take you inexorably away from shore. (your comfort zone)

Review

Now that you've gotten a good night's sleep, lets tackle a big issue. Pain. Life seems to be an ongoing series of events where we are challenged, over and over, by physical, emotional, or psychological pain. And that your (our) ego magnifies and manipulates the event (pain) as justification to blame ______ (fill in the blank). Often times God is the number one scapegoat. Sometimes Life in general. (Life's not fair!) It could be your job, your boss, your spouse, your parents, a brother or sister, a stranger on the street. It doesn't even have to be a person; you get caught in a traffic jam of epic proportions and sit boiling with barely contained rage. There is a power outage and the football game between Barcelona and Real Madrid you've eagerly anticipated watching on TV is not available. Aarrrgggg! You are frustrated! Upset! Pissed off!

Depending on the degree of the pain involved (level of intensity) what are some typical reactions we as human beings employ? We sometimes self-medicate with alcohol, drugs or eating. We suppress by ignoring, overworking, shopping or frenetic activity. We often times lash out at whoever or whatever is close at hand. (even inanimate objects!) The question becomes, then, how well do you like your self-expression? Your course of action? Your behavior in general? My guess is, not all that much.

So, what's to be done? This web-site is an attempt to reconstruct the context of how we interpret our life experience. How the ego operates and what can be done to counteract it. That a reinterpretation of how to view events in our life will bring us a measure of patience, peace and self-actualization here-to-for unknown. That it is possible to view Life as a gift for which we could be grateful. Not some of the time. Not even most of the time. But all of the time.

Challenging? Without a doubt! Possible? Unavoidably so. Ultimately, eventually, you will come to terms with Life. The realization that more is going on than could be imagined. That you are a finely tuned instrument here to observe (not judge) and participate in the multidimensional, multifarious exploration of the unknown. That your WILLING interaction with whatever comes into your life and the level of trust you manifest is the alchemy by which "miracles" are wrought. I invite you all to investigate the truth of these contentions for yourself. I welcome your arguments, insights, and comments.

A Good Night's Rest

Take care of yourself. Strive to get the amount of sleep necessary to operate at peak proficiency.

               Everything's Alright

Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh
Don't you know everything's alright
Yes, everything's fine
And we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight
If we try we'll get by so forget all about us tonight

~Lyrics Tim Rice (Music-Andrew Lloyd Webber)

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
~Desiderata

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b35SkJdDGV4

Reflection

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness
Comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

~Rumi

Round Two

A further word or two on the ego may be in order. Having awoke to such a dramatic illustration of what I was addressing yesterday, (see Update link from yesterday's post) I am also aware that my language was imprecise. That isn't an ego out of control, it is a human being. The ego is VERY MUCH in control. Whoever that individual is, he is obviously in a bad way. He justifies parking in a handicap spot because he is driving a Ferrari. He is ready to engage in physical violence because his car is being disrespected (which in his mind he has identified with to such an extent it is he himself being disrespected). A revealing non-sequitur can be heard when he states; "...I can buy your whole family, mother****er."

Its easy to sit back and say this individual is an asshole. Doing so, though, judges him. That's the ego's game. Better to simply observe. However, and this is key, if you do find yourself judging him, don't beat yourself up for judging! It is said, what you resists, persists. If we wish to move past judging, we must allow for the realization that we ourselves judge. (It is impossible to fix a problem that we are unaware of.) So realizing we in fact do judge, and not judging ourselves harshly for it, is the first degree of separation necessary. It creates space for something else (other thoughts, emotions, reactions, observations) to cohabitate along side your judgment. It is a start.

And in that Corner...

It seems as though we have to battle the ego in all things. It seems as though the ego is a 19,347th degree black belt in cosmic jujitsu. Even a master the likes of Chogyam Trunpa (Tibetan Buddhist teacher) has used the description; "The problem is that ego can convert anything to its own use, even spirituality." The problem, as I see it, is calling it a problem. Better stated is; the DYNAMIC is that ego can convert anything to its own use, including spirituality.

Something as sophisticated, complex and fluid as the ego would seem to have a divine purpose. The level of intelligence and multifaceted interaction it engages in would point to a possibility this is true. If so, isn't it time to acknowledge its purpose? It's "perfect" resistance to a reality that there is a God? And if something is performing its function perfectly, acknowledging that perfection would seem to me a cessation of hostility towards it.

Understanding the ego and its function allows me to see a reflection of myself. If the reflection is one of self-indulgence, greed, insecurity, avarice...well, isn't that a good thing? But Pat, Pat...you don't understand! The ego contorts the picture so that we aren't seeing ourselves that way! Okay, fair enough. What comes next? Usually conflict in the form of Life (people, places and things) pushing back on the individuals projected image of themselves. And the individual "selling out" to maintain that projected self-image. (by "selling out" I mean the individual doing anything and everything to convince you of something they themselves don't truly believe) If an individual is in a constant state of conflict something is going to give. A mental breakdown, an addiction, bizarre behavior...humans can only manage so long before the inconsistencies of self take their toll.

So, ultimately, the ego did its job. The pain, suffering and/or humiliation incurred was simply the road needed to convince the individual that though they are a wonder, so too are those they interact with. Overcompensating because of low self-esteem is an idle pursuit. Seeking validation from the car you drive to the clothes you wear (and a hundred other things) is as pointless. It seems possible, without the ego, we might never come to such a conclusion. To me, that's no problem at all.

Update: Woke up this morning to see this on AOL's scroll. Went to youtube and sure enough, there it was. As classic a case of entitlement as one could ever witness. An ego out of control. Watch.

http://www.carsite.co.uk/gallery/videos/id/14126-ferrari-pee-prank