Saturday, May 18, 2013

I See You

The problem with beggars is that they beg. It makes people feel uncomfortable. We don't like being put on the spot. Its as though we are challenged: are you a good person? Will you help out the needy? Or are we so callous and indifferent we won't "cough up" the change in our pocket? Observing people's reactions to handling the homeless, panhandlers, and beggars, one can quickly deduce that "blindness" is the most overt strategy employed. I don't see you. You don't exist. Or I can ignore you  to the extent you might as well not exist.

Life always presents us choices. With regard to those looking for a handout, I utilize a number of different options depending on how I feel at the moment. One choice I've made is to buy apples and offer an apple rather than change. (this eliminates the excuse they will use the money towards drugs or alcohol) Another is when I go through my closet for Goodwill or the Salvation Army, I throw a few T-Shirts (spring/summer) or coats (fall/winter) in a separate bag in my car trunk. That way I can offer a clean piece of clothing that may be more welcome than 53 cents.

One thing I always try to do is look them straight in the eye. I also do my best to smile. I believe that acknowledging them is worth more than a small amount of change. I think their self-esteem benefits from it. I believe I benefit from it as well and I'll tell you why. It gives me the chance to explore my personal integrity. Do I do things because it is expected of me? Do I do things because I feel trapped? Do I do things and then resent the fact that I did them?

Some people pay therapist's a lot of money to discover those personality traits. Wouldn't it be something if we could view beggars in a whole new light? Rather than a nuisance, perhaps we could  see them as street corner therapy. Available night and day to let us monitor where we are at and how we are doing. That's no small gift. Maybe even worthy of some spare change or a dollar bill.

UPDATE: June 10th Seems as though there is some collaboration going on. It feels good.

UPDATE: August 7th Gaining traction. Awesome!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Thy Kingdom Come

It really is just this simple.

We've proven we can do it. Can we now put it in a context where we understand that this is the "Kingdom of God" spoken of by the masters? Now is the time, here is the place, you are the person. If you are reading this post, understand you have been called. Selected. Appointed. Anointed. Read the attached link:

Alright then, be about your business. You've a job to do.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Tired of Being Nice

A friend shared her website with me (see above) and I certainly was surprised. Not only by the name of the site, but how hard it was to find. There are ALOT of links with that title (or slight variations of it). My genuine reaction was; how can you be tired of being nice?

The easy answer is people are "nice" to be acknowledged. Or validated. Perhaps they feel "cornered" and don't have the personal integrity to say, "no." Maybe they feel it necessary in order to be "liked." Quite possibly, they have been nice to another person many times and there isn't any reciprocity (you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours) so they become resentful. Bottom line is that being nice usually comes with an expectation of a payoff. And when a payoff isn't forthcoming, people claim they are being taken advantage of. They quickly tire of being "nice."

Understand it is perfectly acceptable to want something in return for you being nice. Just be upfront about it. Make sure the other person understands it is "tit for tat." (quid pro quo) Otherwise you are engaging in a game of appearances. See how nice I am? Aren't I a good guy? And the resentment of not being acknowledged, validated, or reciprocated builds up to YOUR DETRIMENT. You become an unhappy fellow with negative thoughts constantly circling around in your head. (I'm being used--I'm a doormat--I always do for others and never get anything in return, etc etc) You become a victim.

Know there may come a time when you hold an entirely different view of being nice. That service to others becomes a vocation. That you do nice things for others because it makes YOU feel good. That what another does (or fails to do) has no bearing on your experience of that good inside you. It is the purity (I do this for me) of your experience that allows the essence of your nature free expression. An unlimited stream of "niceness" created by the understanding, "I am you."

Goodness is great
If you're good to yourself