Acceptance

You have to come to terms with how you operate. The simple fact is, through evolution, you have a built-in "negativity bias." Here is an article explaining it.

http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2013/06/14/overcoming-your-negativity-bias/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

You have to start accepting Life on it's own terms. "It is what it is." People spend an inordinate amount of time resisting what is. How often do you hear or speak phrases like, "I don't believe it. Why did he/she/they DO that? This is bullshit." And you know what? You may be right. It is unbelievable, or inconceivable, or down right nonsense. But it is what it is--and you are going to have to come to grips with the reality of the moment. You must also realize you are going to have a predisposition to interpret it as bad or a threat. You brain is wired for just such a reaction.

The truth is, we honestly don't know that it is bad. And if you can bring yourself to accepting it as a gift of unknown potency, power, or possibility, you will have changed the dynamic. It is what it is...but not what it is going to be. Like a magician, you have the power to transform what it is, to what it is GOING to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpuDyGgIeh0

Carl Jung said, "what you resists, persists." I want you to fully understand that, and why acceptance is so important. If you deny the reality of the moment, you empower it. You dwell on it. You gnaw on it like a bone. You play and replay the unfairness, the betrayal, the selfishness, or the violence in your head, saying all the while--it cannot be. Yet, it has already taken place! The resulting pain, sadness,  disappointment, or heartache, will still be waiting at the end of your denial. Though we may not wish a  particular situation unfold, it is the emotions (reactions) to that event that create the components that determine how the next event in our life will be understood. If we can develop a technique where all life is seen as a gift, we rewire our neurons and create a self-sustaining "operating system."