Elliot Rodger

My effort the last 22 months has been to share a technique that I believe would enhance your life. The October 27th, 2013 post, "Crossroad at the Crossword" explained: God has..."set up a dynamic that is available to one and all. We just need to recognize and utilize the inherent, universal technique. Kind of like tuning in a radio--we need to find the proper frequency."

A full year before that (October 24th, 2012) I had explained in "Top O' the Morning" that; "every time you take in the good, you build a little bit of neural structure. Doing this a few times a day--for months or even years--will gradually change your brain, and how you feel and act, in far reaching ways." (Rick Hanson PhD "Buddha's Brain")

What I took for granted was your understanding that the gift can be corrupted. That its application is just as effective when applied in a manner opposite of the suggestions of this site. Elliot Rodger is the manifestation of this truth. His story, My Twisted World, bears witness: "This is the story of how I, Elliot Rodger, came to be. It is a story of sadness, anger, and hatred. It is a story of a war against CRUEL INJUSTICE." So begins the litany that he will come to repeat over and over and over again; "life is unfair." It is Elliot's mantra. It is the cause of his actions last Friday night.

(Please note--it is not my intention to belittle or blame. I believe Li Chin and Peter Rodger did the best they could as parents. Parental mistakes aside, Elliot was provided with countless opportunities to find another course. That said, the environment that Elliot came out of goes directly to his behavioral problems.)

Elliot was the eldest child of his family. His mother was Chinese (born in Malaysia) and his father British. The Chinese tradition towards the eldest son is of no small significance. Neither is this paragraph from page 21 of the manifesto: "Mother always got me what I wanted, right when I wanted it. At mother's house, all my needs were met with EXCELLENT PRECISION, whereas at father's house, there would always be a time delay because father and Soumaya had less time for me, and paid less attention to me."

Elliot was conditioned to always get what he wanted. It doesn't say he was ever refused at his father's house, only that there was a TIME DELAY. And his reasoning for that delay was his father and step mother had less time for him, and paid him less attention. The culture of indulgence and immediate gratification is set, and Elliot's emotional development ceases. He will expect and DEMAND from life what he experienced at home. If life doesn't play along, it is unfair. It is cruel. It becomes a "living hell." But not until he reaches puberty.

"...fifth grade was my favorite school year in elementary school. I played with more people than I ever did in previous grades, I was less shy, I wasn't a dork, and I had an awesome time learning how to skateboard and hacky-sack. It was a memorable year filled with joyful experiences."

 "Seventh Grade flew by very fast. My school life was a continuation of Sixth Grade. I mingled with acquaintances here and there, and behaved nicely with everyone. The difference is that I was having so much fun outside of school with my friends at Planet Cyber that I really didn't care about getting popular at school or getting attention from girls. I was enjoying my last year of childhood. My twelve year was one of the BEST YEARS of my life, and the last year I was happy."

Okay, so far so good. Nothing here that smacks of Asperger Syndrome. Besides the normal difficulties all children face, Elliot seems fairly happy. What goes wrong?

"Finding out about sex was one of the things that truly destroyed my entire life. Sex...the very word fills me with hate. Once I hit puberty, I would always want it, like any other boy. I would always hunger for it, I would always covet it, I would always fantasize about it. But I would never get it. Not getting any sex is what will shape the very foundation of my miserable youth."

"As middle school (8th Grade) approached it's ultimate end, I was having a miserable time. I was extremely unpopular, widely disliked, and viewed as the weirdest kid in the school. I had to act weird in order to GAIN ATTENTION. I was tired of being the invisible shy kid. Infamy is better than obscurity."

By Elliot's own admission 7th Grade (12 years of age) is "one of the best years of my life," while 8th Grade (13 years of age) is "miserable." Puberty is the defining factor and Elliot wants sex. To get sex he needs a girl. To get a girl he needs to be popular. He is "extremely unpopular."

"This was the start of hell for me. Going through puberty utterly doomed my existence. It condemned me to a life of suffering and unfulfilled desires. Even at that young age, I felt depressed because I wanted sex, yet I felt UNWORTHY of it. I didn't think I was ever going to experience sex in reality, and I was right. I never did. I was finally interested in girls, but there was no way I would ever get them."

Elliot's account of bullying at Crespi during his freshman year prompts a change to Taft High School for the 10th Grade. He lasts a week. ("My first week at Taft was a living hell.") He takes a MONTH to recover (playing World of Warcraft) while his parents decide which continuation school he should attend. He lands at Independence High, which has three buildings and only 100 students. It had a "relaxed and calm environment." He figures it is "the best option for me."

At 16 Elliot has a breakdown at the Bubenheims (family friends) house. "I realized how much I've been missing out on in my life." This revelation came when friends of the daughter show up at the end of the dinner and start talking about their "awesome lives and their parties." Elliot cries in front of everyone and tells them he "wants to commit suicide." His father, step-mother, and the hosts spend three hours trying to "cheer me up." It is also around this time he "realizes, with a lot of clarity, how truly unfair my life is. I compared myself to other teenagers and became very angry that they were able to experience all the things I've desired, while I was left out. I never had the experience of going to a party with other teenagers, I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, I never lost my virginity."

Then Elliot turns seventeen. There are FIVE and a HALF more years of this. Elliot never holds a job other than working 3 weeks with a family friend on a spiral staircase. (he has no carpentry skills) After graduating high school, he completes TWO classes (6 units) in four and a half years while
attending first Pierce, then Moorpark, and finally Santa Barbara Community College. (15 units is a normal class load for a single semester) He drops classes because he can't stand the sight of hot girls with their "brute boyfriends." He resents his mother because she won't marry her wealthy boyfriend. He tells his mother she should sacrifice her well being for the sake of his happiness, because "money would solve everything." Elliot believes "wealth is one of the most important defining factors of self-worth and superiority." He spends eye-opening amounts of money on the lottery. ($1600.00 that he actually states--more that he doesn't) He has $700.00 to spend on a Glock; later $1100.00 on a Sig Sauer. (he actually had a third gun in his BMW [as well as 400 rounds of ammunition] but the treatise doesn't mention it) Still, he wants to "punish all of the popular kids and young couples for the CRIME of having a BETTER LIFE THAN ME." Elliot never ONCE asks a girl out. ("I wish I had the courage to go up to them and ask them on a date, but they would have seen me as a creep. Girls are so cruel.")

This is just a SLICE of the self-indulgent, victimized view Elliot carried around with him. I could share another boatload of quotes like; "I cried every day when I imagined how much fun and pleasure other teenagers were having as I languished in despair." But even this synopsis of Elliot's 137 page diary grows more than tedious. I believe you can gather (to some degree) the incredible sense of entitlement Elliot felt. Where did he come by such a distorted world view? More importantly, once observed (as it surely was) why wasn't it corrected?

Elliot was given psychological help early. (Elliot only fesses up that he had visited psychologist Dr. Randy Gold at age 13 when he decides to stop seeing Dr. Sophy for prescribing Risperidon [he
researches it on-line] and giving the "same useless advice that every psychiatrist, psychologist, and counselor had given me in the past.") Elliot concludes his "parents wasted money on therapy as it will never help me in my struggle against such a cruel and unjust world." I wonder if that "useless advice" was you (Elliot) need an immediate attitude adjustment of the most monumental kind, and by any means necessary? And why oh why would parents even need to seek psychological help for such an obvious diagnosis?

I wonder if you better understand now, the first two paragraphs of the GIFT section of the web site? Or the GOD section that states "our reality of life is made up of our perception, and our perception is our truth." Elliot Rodger's truth can be found on the last page of his manifesto; "I am the victim in all this. I am the good guy." His last sentence is even more revealing. "Finally, at long last, I can show the world my true worth."

That you did Elliot, that you did.