Yield

Dr. Phil has a saying; "you can be happy or you can be right." This is usually in the context of couple relationships and highlights the importance we (collectively) place on being right. For most of us, being right has cost us either 1) a marriage 2) a relationship or 3) a friendship. What is it about us that we will sacrifice so much on the altar of the god "ImRight?"

Which brings us to the title of today's post; yield. What an amazing word! It contains the paradox of wildly divergent meanings. Besides the way I am intending it used, (to yield the "right of way") it also means a financial "return on investment" or an orchard yielding a "good crop." But it doesn't stop there. Yield can also mean to "give up under pressure or compulsion, surrender." The context depends entirely on how and where the word is used.

One aspect of the human condition is the view that we have the right of self-determination. Though history teaches us that oppressive regimes can, and have, subverted that right through intimidation, violence, and murder, that doesn't alter the fact that humans feel they should be able to make their own choices. If you find yourself agreeing that this is true, bring it down to the personal level. Why would you ever want to eliminate that option from someone you care about?

When you find yourself opposed by some one's insistence on doing it their way, allow for it. Yield! It is their inherent "right" to go their own "way." (path) It does not mean that they are right and you are wrong. All it means is that you understand a basic human need; the right of self-determination. Most  assuredly, voice your concerns. Just don't impose your point of view. Here it is vital to make the distinction that yielding isn't in the context of surrender or capitulation. It is an awareness that your truth is yours--and theirs is theirs. (see the second to last sentence of the third paragraph in the God section)

By far the greatest teacher is experience. We learn (most often) the "hard way." Trial and error. What works, what doesn't. Is this not so? Why then, would you deprive anyone else of this knowledge?  By yielding, I believe you can realize a return on investment quite unlike any previously experienced. (be it marriage, relationships, or friendships) I believe you can be both happy and right. It is simply a matter of yielding the right of way.