Newtown, Ct.

The first post on this blog was about Aurora, Colorado. Now Newtown, Connecticut. It is debilitating. The senseless, horrific killing of 20 children and 7 adults leaves me distraught. I am caught up in the evil of the event. Something I perceive as so preventable just occurred and I feel the urge to lash out. Condemn. Point a finger. I want answers from gun advocates explaining semi-automatic assault weapons being protected under the 2nd Amendment. And 30 round clips.

Dan Holmes, owner of Fine Gardens (a landscaping firm) knew and spoke to Nancy Lanza. He said she was "very proud" when she revealed she had purchased a "high end rifle" (perhaps the Bushmaster .223 used in the killings). Dan is quoted as saying; "she loved her guns" (she owned at least five, including a Glock and Sig Sauer). I honestly wonder how Nancy feels about guns now. She was the first victim of her son Adam's killing spree.

Exactly one week ago I posted (Joy To The World) that negativity was evident at a "jaw dropping level." Four days later it was taken to another level. At this time I am incapable of moving through, past, or around, Sandy Hook. Evil very much works in this way. It (Evil) wants nothing more than to leave utter despair and hopelessness in It's wake. It wants a withdrawal from the battlefield. It wants capitulation. Understanding that, I won't. But give me a moment of weakness while I grieve with mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers, nephews and nieces, friends and neighbors...

Adam Lanza was an awkward, socially inept 20 year old. They say he had Asperger's or autism. These are different ways of saying he was awkward and socially inept. By all accounts, he wouldn't look people in the eye. He kept to himself. In the hallways at school it was said he "hugged the wall." I understand shyness and acute sensitivity---as well as being traumatized. I think something horrific happened to Adam when he was 6 or 7. I don't think he was ever able to speak of it until last Friday. The choice he made giving voice to it was cowardly and craven.

There is no going back. Whats done can't be undone. I only ask that if you should stumble upon this blog to honor those who won't: (The Children) Charlotte Bacon--Daniel Barden--Olivia Engel--Josephine Gay--Ana Marquez/Greene--Dylan Hockley--Madeline Hsu--Catherine Hubbard--Chase Kowalski--Jesse Lewis--James Mattioli--Grace McDonnell--Emilie Parker--Jack Pinto--Noah Pozner--Caroline Previdi--Jessica Rekos--Avielle Richman--Benjamin Wheeler--Allison Wyatt.

(The Teachers) Rachel Davino--Anne Marie Murphy--Lauren Rousseau--Victoria Soto--Mary Sherlach--Dawn Hochsprung.