Saturday, July 23, 2016

A Tangled Tango

As the creator of GGG, it is always challenging to "stay in the mix." Meaning, I have to practice what I preach. The last three months have proved difficult in that regard. A personal issue extending over twenty years has emerged (yet again!) to push, prod, vex and bedevil me. Several times I have been reduced to Anne Dillard's personal prayer ('help-help-help!'). And it isn't as if I'm not utilizing my own techniques. Ultimately, though, it is the outcome I am having trouble with. I keep thinking (believing--feeling) that if I  just do a little more...

Thomas Merton (Trappist monk) said, "We stumble and fall constantly, even when we are most enlightened." I know this to be true...but I know another of his quote's is equally true: "Perhaps I am stronger than I think." In this context then, can I re-embrace gratitude for how the situation is now? Honestly appreciating it as it now stands--unfair, destructive, confusing? Can I view my personal angst as a metaphorical nova that will result in the creation of new elements--new aspects of my personality otherwise doomed to remain dormant? Can I learn to tango for two/you?

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