Regarding your spirituality, nothing. Visiting this site indicates you have probably done more than enough. Enough reading, workshops, meditations, prayers. I advise you to simply stop. Stop trying to be, and just be. So how does one get out of one's own way?
Obviously my answer is G-G-G. In another post I called it a "hack". (as in altering the software of your neural network--which has a propensity towards negative interpretations. See 'Source of Gratitude' 11-15-15, as one example) However, if I were to be more precise, G-G-G is a spiritual algorithm. A set of instructions that allows you to solve a problem. The problem? You tell me. I am reduced to painting with as broad a brush as possible, given I write to an unspecified, general audience.
To allow for an overview, though, I have taken on the most obvious issue's that beset people, (not being good enough, unworthy of love, inability to forgive oneselve, general self-loathing, ongoing self-sabotage, etc. etc. etc!) and have addressed them throughout the blog. My contention is to view what you are going through (whatever it might be) as a gift. That the answer you need, are looking for, is what life is bringing you. God (the Presence, Ultimate Reality, Infinite Intelligence--whatever you are comfortable calling It) is knock, knock, knocking on your door saying, 'this is Me. Let Me in.' And when it is something we think is nice, beneficial, or beautiful, we swing the door wide open. Yes! God loves me! When the opposite occurs, however, we expend tremendous amounts of energy slamming the door shut and pushing our weight up against it to bar entry. 'No, no, no! I can't handle the loss, I don't want the pain, I've had enough humiliation. Please, go away!'
So the experience is denied. It becomes what you run from, suppress. It terrorizes you. If, at some point, it bubbles up from the subconscious, you ruthlessly repress it. And so an aspect of God is rejected. "But Pat," comes the angry retort, "God isn't _____!" (fill in the blank) Really? How would you know? What is below the pain, loss, grief, or rejection? What is it that's actually there beyond the emotion of the experience?
That's what's next...