"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
The operative word in the quote above is "most." I am aware and understand that Life can bring events where we are blameless. But in general, the statement stands up to scrutiny, does it not? If so, what's to be gained by spending time on anyone else's blame, fault, involvement with or contribution to, what is ultimately our responsibility?
Take the energy you usually spend deflecting, shielding, or outright denying the extent of your involvement, and apply it to self-examination. How did I arrive here? What was it I was hoping to accomplish? Was I simply showing off ? Attracting attention to myself? Trying to impress someone? Did I feel the need of validation so strongly that I stepped outside of "me" to become something I thought more acceptable to "you?" When I am around certain people do I feel less than? Subservient to? What happens to my self-esteem when I find myself in the company of such people?
Another possibility is you simply didn't take anyone else into consideration. It was all about you. The collateral damage though, is something less desirable and too revealing for you to embrace. The unflattering picture must be minimized and what better way than blaming someone, or something, else? So you pour your energy into creating an alternate version of reality that places you in a more favorable light. You lie to yourself.
The problem with that is, it further exploits why you felt the need to: show off, try to impress, gain validation, or prop up your self-esteem in the first place! You perpetuate that which you wish to end. Like a hamster in a cage with a wheel, you run and run and run to exhaustion, only to maintain the very position you find unbecoming. You can't seem to break the cycle of behavior. You continue to shoot yourself in the foot--or bang your head against the wall--all the while in denial that your gun is smoking and that your forehead is bruised.
Well, here's the good news; you wouldn't be on this blog if you weren't ready for change. There is a linked article, video, song or photograph that is specific to you. A sentence or paragraph that fired your imagination and was written just for you. Trust what it says. Act on its influence. Go where it beckons. There is an amazing Gift waiting for you. Be brave enough to accept it.